Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
