another moral hangover. fuck.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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