Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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