They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
