dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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