im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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