i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
