Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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