Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
