Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
