He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
