going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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