So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I cut my penus on the lid.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
