Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
