I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
