sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
