While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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