Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Who died my cat blue again?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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