Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
