When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
