the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
