Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
