I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
we should paint friendship bongs
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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