Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
