paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
