You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
