Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
