ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
My vagina just clenched in fear
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
