I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
