this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
