Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
