it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
