what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
