Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Less talking, more tequila
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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