So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
