I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
