No, you can still breathe under the balls.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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