There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
