my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
