I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
