3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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