READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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