I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
