I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
