ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
