All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
