so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
zippers are such a cool invention
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
