You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
