so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
