I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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