You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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