yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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