last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
