we're chasing vodka with high fives
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
